TN Visa

A little over two weeks ago, I flew back to Canada with the intention of renewing my US work visa. I had been working for almost a year in a pediatric cancer research lab at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and my nonimmigrant NAFTA Professional Worker status was about to expire. My coworkers and I joked about how I had to go back to get "legal" and to avoid "deportation."

The plan was to spend 4 days catching up with family and friends, renew the TN visa at the airport's border, return in time for Xueyuan's lab meeting presentation, jump right back into the mcl-1 project with Mark, and take the GRE a week later.

The truth was that my visa application was denied. Since last year's application went so smoothly, I almost took it for granted that it would be approved just as easily. I got photographed, got my finger prints taken, had to answer a series of questions, had my letter of employment confiscated as "evidence," and was escorted out of the terminal (they made me feel like some sort of criminal!). My flight was non-refundable so I lost my plane ticket. As I was about to freak out and panic, as it's my natural inclination, a lesson from the recent Mexico missions trip came to mind: worship, worship, and worship your way through difficult circumstances. Worrying will accomplish nothing. So... I hummed "God will make a way" as I called home. My poor parents, they had driven home during traffic hours and had to turn around to come and rescue me.

The worship instead of worry attitude did not last long. After making all the necessary phone calls and as the waiting game began, I started to worry more and worship less with each passing day. Being a bit of a workaholic, I couldn't bear the feeling of not "working" and finding out that the next available GRE test date was Dec 13 (since I couldn't make it to the US by my original test date) didn't help the situation. It was as though all my planning, all those late nights reviewing math and memorizing vocab were in vain. I was trying to enjoy my time at home, but the truth was that part of me wasn't really there and I was concerned.

This experience was a wake up call for me. For one thing, it reminded me of how ephemeral everything in this world is. In a split second, what I thought was a "sure thing" was taken away from me (ie, being allowed to work in the US), and what I had focused all my free time and energy on was no longer going to happen (ie, the GRE exam). With the recent news of hurricanes, earthquakes, and mudslides completely destroying lives and everything that people had worked for, my loss was trivial, but the underlying principle is the same. We spend so much of our time and focus on things that will not last forever... flimsy, fragile things that will fall and collapse at the sight of the first challenge. The only thing that is eternal is God and His everlasting love for us. We drain ourselves both physically and emotionally by trying to plan out our entire life, our future, when in reality, it's all in God's hands. We can save all that trouble and lead a very fulfilling life by simply following Him wholeheartedly. He will guide us and direct us to the right place, at the right time. Why was I rushing to get things done on my own timing? Who I'm I to think that my own plan is better than God's plan for me? Silly me!

I had forgotten these simple lessons with the increasing responsibilities of being a "grown up" or what some dear friends have kindly referred to as "old people over 25." I often take things into my own hands thinking that if I don't, who will? After this experience, I realized that I need to spend less time doing and planning, but more time praying and listening to what God wants me to do for Him.

He has allowed me to be back working at CHOP. The second visa application went smoothly and the immigration officer asked me only one question: are you going back to the same job? Now, I have only one question to ask myself: am I going to let God fully take control of my life?

I am very thankful to be back and thankful to have been able to spend that extra week with family and friends. (Have lots of funny materials to write about for later posts.)

On a lighter note, amidst all the prayers and emails of encouragement and support, there were also a few friends who wanted to do a little bit more to help me out of the situation that I was in :) And I quote:

Pastor Martin "Let us know if you have any special requests that we might pray for or anything that we can do to be of help (writing letters, marching in front of the embasssy with "Free Agueda" signs, etc.)"

Kim "I need to come rescue you and sneak you into the States! Or we just need to find you someone to marry here ;)"

Rachel "yeah. Hope you can SOMEHOW get to the u.s. if you can't, um, i guess i'll grow up and major in whatever can help me climb up and become best friends w/ whoever is in charge of immigration and all that stuff. so it'll be all right. =]"
"yea. uh, i'll do what i can about the whole visa immigration etc. thing. but i think you'll hafta wait a while. maybe i should become a lawyer. which will take even longer than just getting a normal college major. just like the whole michael thing. ten more years. (by then, i'll be old, and uh, you'll be, um..)"

You guys rock my world! Thanks everyone for your care and support!